scratching the surface

JK fic - yes another one

2009-11-04T18:43:05Z

Title: Turbulence
Pairing: Jack/Kate
Summary: The reset sends them back on 815. Jack pov. Drabble-ish

He watches his knuckles turn white as his grip tightens on the armrests of his seat. He shuts his eyes tight as the turbulence sends the plane into another wave of trembling. His stomach turns at the feeling of deja vu as flight 815 struggles to stay in the air.

To his right, Rose holds her husband's wedding ring to her lips and whispers a silent prayer. Jack turns to look behind him - I knew the tail section was gone - and catches a glimpse of Kate. Her eyes are shut tight and a tear slides down her cheek, and he cannot get rid of the image of her looking to him, a similar tear, a sad smile and a small nod - I have always been with you.

He does not recall falling asleep - or was he unconscious? - but the next time he opens his eyes, the flight attendants are ushering the passengers of 815 off the plane and apologizing for the rough ride - but at least it's a beautiful day in LA.

He spends an hour dealing with the authorities and ignores Sawyer's mumbled "jackass" and shoulder shove as the he makes his way past him in security.

The security employee has to raise his voice at him - Sir! - when he is distracted watching Claire trying to get a taxi.

He feels tears well up his eyes when Kate is led by an army of marshals and cops out the door, and he chokes, his voice cracks, trying to call after her.

He runs to the door and is stopped by a guard at the door - sorry sir, you'll have to wait a couple of minutes... dangerous criminal - and he watches the marshal force Kate into the police car.

He wants to yell at him as Edward Mars yanks at the handcuffs and he watches her face contort in pain. She does not see him and he aches to call out her name.

Excuse me, sir?

He hears that a few times before he feels the tap on his shoulder and realizes it's referring to him. He turns to see a young blond boy holding his hand up to him - you dropped this sir - and hands him a small brown pouch.

Thank you.

He mumbles, but the boy had sprinted over to his mother and Jack's eyes and concentration had already turned back to Kate.

He absentmindedly opens the pouch and drops its contents into his palm, his eyes still silently begging Kate to look at him.

He sneaks a peak to his hand.

Two stones. One black. One white. And he looks back up to see Kate's eyes staring straight into his. She smiles sadly and gives him the slightest of nods, that one tear refusing to give her any mercy.

He nods back and whispers - I will come back for you.

JK post s5 fic

2009-10-30T19:41:37Z

Title: Down
Characters: Kate, Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, Jin, Miles, Hurley.
Pairing: Jack/Kate
Summary: The Losties make camp the first night after The Incident.

They had decided to go back to the beach. No one was sure why or how the decision was made or who even made that decision.

No one wants to be the one to make decisions. But no one trusts anyone else from the group with their decisions either.

The bomb had exploded. Juliet was dead. They were still on the island.

They walked through the jungle dejectedly in a cloud of despair, heartache, pain, guilt, anger and fear. Barely a couple of words were spoken between any of them for hours.

They made camp in a place oddly familiar yet eerily not.

Like a defeated army mourning its dead but more so its living, they each quietly take to a log, or rock, and get out whatever food each managed to pick on the way.

Hurley gets water for everyone and Miles mumbles something about getting fire wood. Their voices and words disappear into the darkness of the disheartened night before they are warranted a reply. Jack tends to Sayid wounds. He knows that his actions are futile at this point. Everyone knows it. But he stubbornly continues to change the dressing. No one argues with him. They have lost too many of them.

A couple of hours later, the night turns mercilessly cold and Kate tries to get some sleep on her bed of grass and pebbles.

Hurley and Miles’ whispered argument about when they are now frustrates her as much as it terrifies her; thinking that once again they do not know what it is this time that they should fear in the godforsaken place.

Sayid’s labored breathing haunting her every moment, reminding her constantly that anyone of them can die, at any moment, and there was nothing they can do about it. And maybe they should.

This is our destiny.

Our destiny is to die on this island. We should have all died when we crashed. This is the universe's way of making sure it does what it should have the first time.

Sawyer’s silent heartbroken sobs tug painfully at the strings of her heart. She wants to go to him, talk to him, hold him and tell him everything will be ok. But she cannot bear the thought of it. Guilt washes over her every time she looks at him and the first thing that crosses her mind “thank God the one I love is still alive”.

She gives up the hope of getting any sleep and moves closer to the fire. She sits with Jin for a while. She tells him about his daughter, what little she does know, tells him how brave Sun had been. But soon her minds wander to Aaron. Her voice cracks and she cannot hide the tears welling up her eyes. She excuses herself, says she’s tired and wants to try to get some sleep.

She is tired. Tired, scared, frustrated.

She pretends to sleep for a few hours; pretends that the tears, chokes and whimpers she hears from the men around her, as their own nightmares and demons ravish their sleep, do not bother her.

For the first time in hours she looks at Jack. He sits on the ground his back against the log farthest away from the fire. His body slouched forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his shoulders crushed under the weight of their load and his head dropped bleakly against his chest.

Kate finds herself walking towards him. She remembers the last conversation they had.

Nothing in my life has ever so right, and I just need you to believe me.
Are you with me on this?
Yes.

She makes sure he is asleep before she sits down next to him. His warmth is familiar, comfortable, and she instinctively melts into him. She carefully rests her head against his shoulder and his breath is hot against her skin.

She feels her pulse slow down, the fear that had her heart racing all day suddenly replaced with something else. All the sounds that had been haunting her night disappear and are replaced by the calming sound of Jack steady breathing. And she can finally fall asleep.

Jack stirs next to her and she jumps back.

“I’m sorry,” she says in a panic and pulls herself up, avoiding his look, his confused, clouded eyes.

She’s stopped from walking away by Jacks hand on her arm. She prays he does not feel the goose bumps he just sent through her, as his hand slides down to grab hers. He holds her hand tightly in his and whispers, “stay… please”.
Kate nods and lets Jack pull her down. She settles back next to him but he moves behind her, nestling her between his legs. She lays against his chest, her head in the crook of his neck, and he wraps his arms around her, engulfing her body with his.

They spend the next few hours of the early morning holding onto each other and somehow the cloud that had darkened their day earlier is slightly lifted.

Kate knows that the next morning will bring some hope with it.

This is our destiny.

-----

Hope you liked :)

[42] Jack/Kate and Matt/Evi Icons

2009-10-26T19:00:20Z

Jack/Kate and Matt/Evi Icons
[42] Various seasons/episodes (including s5) + EW photoshoot + UK Promo
(one contains picture of Matthew Fox on set for s6 - no major spoiler though)

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Comment, credit, enjoy.
Thanks :D

vid

2009-10-17T10:32:52Z

so, some of you know I have this obsession with these two scenes the JK scene from the Incident right before he leaves with the Jughead, and the scene in 300 when Leonidas leaves for battle. So after the picspam, I've made a vid. It's nothing really but thought i would share

♥

Jack/Kate fic

2009-10-03T21:29:01Z

Title: Postcards - Part 4
Characters: Jack/Kate
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Set post s5. Jack's plan works, and they land safely in LA. But Kate has to run, and Jack has to help her.

Parts 1-3

Part Four: The Postcards

September 28, 2004

He spent the rest of that evening and the next day moping around his apartment, realizing that every corner and object was a memory of her, if not in this life, then in the other.

He knew he needed to get up, get out of this state. He had work to do.

Getting back to work was easier than he thought, or at least easier than his superiors thought. They’d given him a couple of weeks to recover, whether from his father’s death or the abuse he was getting over his father’s death, he wasn’t sure. But either way he’d politely rejected, and he was back at the hospital within days.

Getting in touch with Claire was not as easy. He found her easily enough. She’d walked right into his ER less than a week after flight 815 landed. She was having contractions and was afraid she’d gone into labor.

He waited for the ER doctor to release her and walked over to introduce himself. He was hoping that she knew something, anything about Christian. He knew that Claire had seen Christian once. Carol told him how Christian visited her after their car crash, so he’d hoped that she would know his name. He was hoping that if he only introduced himself as Jack Shephard, something would click for her.

Unfortunately, it did not. She looked at him, as if expecting him to say something else. When he said nothing, she smiled apologetically and asked him if he needed anything, if she had to fill in more papers.

He knew anything he says will catch her off guard or freak her out. So all Jack could think of was offering Claire a copy of the hospital newsletter from the nurses’ counter and ask her to take care and come back in if she needed anything. Claire eyed him suspiciously but took the newsletter and walked out.

That week’s newsletter was a tribute to the great Christian Shephard. Jack prayed Claire would not just toss it in the nearest garbage as she walked out.

Jack walked into his apartment at midnight. He listened to his mother’s thirteen phone messages as he skimmed through the mail. Bills, bills, bills, junk mail, invitation to conference… he was about to toss them aside when he saw it.

A postcard. A picture of the Rockies. Four words scribbled on the back,

I’m Safe. Love, K

October 6, 2004

He sat in his living room for the rest of the night reading and rereading those four words until he fell asleep on the couch. He kept it in his pocket everywhere he went, and would find himself during the day pulling it out and staring at it, oblivious to anything around him.

He didn’t hear back from Claire. He thought she was either mad at him or freaked out by now.

He did hear from Hurley, however. He called him on Sunday and asked him if wanted to play golf. It took Jack slightly by surprise before Hurley reminded him “today’s the opening of the island tour, dude”.

Jack was on his lunch break when Claire walked into the cafeteria. Jack waited for her to speak first. It was a few minutes before she looked up from staring at the table and said “he died in Sydney.”

It wasn’t a question. Jack could only nod and wait to see where she was taking this.

“So you’re his real, normal family,” she said and looked at Jack, her tone soft, but a mix between shame and jealousy. It felt like a kick in the gut for Jack to hear that. He smiled at her sweetly and said, “I wouldn’t exactly call us normal.”

“Why are you doing this?” she asked, honestly wanting to know why this stranger had interfered to let her know her father was dead.

“Because we’re family, too. You deserved to know,” he replied. “How long have you known? About me? How did you know I was here?” Claire continued her questioning.

Jack ran it through his head trying to figure out the most believable version, “I just found out, when I was in Sydney, that he had a daughter, that I have a sister. And I hadn’t planned to contact you, not right away anyway, until… I don’t know, I guess, until things made sense. This is new to me too. But when I saw you in ER the other day, and read your name…” Jack said, trying to make up a story that was less science fiction than the original version.

Claire nodded and got up from her seat. Jack eyed her with suspicion and she turned without a word.

“Wait,” Jack called after her and got up to follow her, “I know you are all alone here and…”

“Look, ermm… Jack,” she interrupted him, “I’m here in LA to meet the couple who want to adopt the baby… I’m not… I can’t do this. Thank you, but he was never my father, never my family. And nothing’s changed now,” Claire shook her head and looked at Jack one last time, “good bye.”

His meeting with Claire hadn’t gone as he hoped. He didn’t know if he felt worse about letting Kate down or letting Claire down. But seeing Claire, and seeing how hurt and scared she was, he knew he owed to everyone, to his family to not give up.

He spent the rest of the day thinking of how to work things out with Claire. The paperwork on his desk was already piling up. His assistant was not helping when she piled his mail over the little hill he already had. He cursed under his breath and was moving them when the postcard dropped to the floor.

The picture of the blue ocean was a beautiful contrast against the dull grey carpet in his office. His face was beaming as he picked up and flipped it over,

Sinking my way across the ocean. Forever, K.

October 16, 2004

Claire had visited the hospital twice for regular checkups during the ten days after her meeting with Jack. She didn’t make any further contact with him though. Jack did not give up hope. He knew that her continuing her visits to this hospital had to mean something. He gave her the space she wanted. He checked with her doctor that everything was fine, and made sure that we be informed of her condition. He explained that her family were old friends of his and asked him to keep an eye on her.

He saw Hurley again that week. It was becoming a normal thing for them to grab lunch and talk about that other life they lived that did not exist. Hurley enjoyed coming up with theories and analyzing possibilities, and Jack enjoyed having someone he can talk to without pretending nothing ever happened.

His mother called him that evening to let him know he’s received mail at her house. She “politely” added that he should let his friends know he no longer lives in his father’s house.

Jack drove to her house and picked up the postcard. It was a picture of a Starbucks in what looked like London. He turned it over, and laughed as he read the lines she’d wrote,

I found a coffee shop. Yours, K.

He stared at it for a few minutes, until his tear fell on the “K”. He wiped his eyes and drove out of his parents’ drive way.

October 20, 2004

“Am I being punished?” Jack looked up from the chart he was reading to see Claire standing at the door, “I’m giving away my baby, so God is punishing me, He takes away my father?”

“No. No one is punishing you,” Jack dropped what he was doing and walked to her, convincing to walk with him to his office.

“Claire, you haven’t done anything wrong. Christian’s death is not your punishment. I know this must be very hard for you, but…” Jack spoke softly as she sat down next to him on his couch.

“There’s no family,” she shook her head, letting the tears fall freely now, “the number I have for the adoptive family, it’s … it’s a recording studio. He lied to me. Why would he lie to me?”

Jack put a hand on her shoulder, trying to figure out what to say next, when she spoke again. “I don’t know what to do. There’s no one here, and I can’t go back now.”

“You’re not alone, Claire. I know we don’t know each other, but we are family, and I want you to know that you do have someone here,” he spoke firmly. “If you want to give your baby up for adoption, I can help you… but… if you think that maybe you want to keep him, maybe…” Jack took a deep breath before he could continue, “maybe, if you decide, if you choose… You can do this Claire, he can be your chance of having a real, normal family.”

She stood up and wiped her face, “thank you Jack. I still don’t understand why you’re doing this, or why you want to help me,” she put her hand up, asking him to let her finish when he tried to interrupt her, “I know, we share a father. But I don’t know you, I trust you, for some reason, I do… “ she paused before she added, “Can I call you?”

“Of course,” Jack said and watched her walk out the door.

October 27, 2004

Claire called Jack at 2 in the morning the day after they met. She asked him if he wanted to meet for breakfast the next day. He knew it was not going to be easy, but she was willing to try. And she was willing to accept his help. They had breakfast or lunch every day for the next week. It felt strange meeting her for the second time, but he soon realized that he never got to know her the other time, and was thankful he was getting this chance.

He took her to dinner for her birthday and introduced her to Hurley who found it very hard to keep pretending they were meeting for the first time. That night was the most fun either of them had had in ages. Hurley and Claire made plans to look for an apartment for her the next day.

The morning paper the next day came with a little unexpected treat, a postcard. The Eiffel Tower at night. He turned it over and read the longest message she’d written so far,

Had steak for the first time in years. I don’t know what got into me. Spent the next day throwing up. Eternally, K.

November 1, 2004

He was visiting his nephew in the maternity ward when he got paged to the ER. Head on collision. The driver of the first car dead on impact. The passengers of the second barely alive. A brother and a sister. Mid twenties. He knew their names before he heard them.

Boone Carlyle was in much worse condition than his step sister. He’d lost too much blood on the way and the only option was immediate surgery.

It took over six hours. They cut off his leg four hours into the surgery, but things kept getting worse as time progressed.

Shannon Rutherford’s conditioned was controlled in ER, but her surgery had to be scheduled on the 7th.

November 9. 2004

Boone woke up a week after the accident. Shannon was told she cannot teach ballet anymore. Hurley suggested she think about teaching French.

Jack had convinced Claire that the idea of being a single mom in a new city and moving into a new apartment was not a smart idea. It took a while, and some big brother attitude, but she agreed to move in with him.

November 21, 2004

He had found that spending more time at home now was easier when his mind was not constantly assigning Kate memories to everything. Claire was slowly getting used to her new life. Hurley had found his place as his best friends’ millionaire baby sitter.

Hurley wasn’t too shocked to find out about Jack’s secret pen pal. It was Sunday and he was brining breakfast. He grabbed their mail as he came in when he saw her last “postcard”. It was in an envelope this time, a photo booth strip of pictures. She looked pale. Jack’s face dropped with worry, and as if on cue, he read her message,

It’s an ancient photo booth. The quality is horrible. Give Aaron a kiss for me. Love, K.

July 1, 2005

The postcards continued monthly after that.

December 22, 2004
A postcard from Italy
Merry Christmas. I love you. K.

January 30, 2005
A postcard from Turkey
Turkish delights are as delightful as they sound. Delightfully, K.

February 24, 2005
A postcard from Russia
Freezing. Who goes to Russia in February. Wish I can drink all the vodka I want to stay warm. Frostfully, K.

March 31, 2005
A postcard from India
Apparently I cannot handle spices like I thought I can. Rashfully, K.

April 27, 2005
A postcard from Thailand
Really, Jack? THAT’S Ashara? You were obviously drunk. I miss you too much, K.

But he had not received anything since then. He convinced himself he did not need to worry. She was not globetrotting for fun, after all.

He was babysitting for Claire when the last postcard arrived.

Claire had accidentally called the number of the fake adoptive parents recently, and ended up getting a job interview at the studio. The recently clean, ex Drive Shaft member, Charlie Pace, had taken a managerial position at the studio and was looking to hire new blood.

Claire brought in the mail and was ready to divulge every detail of her meeting when she saw her brother obviously preoccupied with the mail.

He tore open the envelope and took the content. It was a photograph of a newborn baby and a note that said,

His name is JJ, Jack Junior. He has your eyes. I love you.
ps. I’m in Seoul. I might be staying for a while.

-

So that's it. Hope it's not too anticlimactic. I am not too happy with it. I mean I knew it would always end with Kate sending their kids pic, and that the postcards would hint thatshe's preggers, but I had no idea what would be happening with Jack and Claire and stuff. :/

Jack/Kate fic

2009-10-01T18:48:28Z

Title: Postcards
Characters: Jack/Kate
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Set post s5. Jack's plan works, and they land safely in LA. But Kate has to run, and Jack has to
help her.
Note: It's four parts. Posting the first three together because I am that awesome ;)

Part One: The Airport

September 22, 2004

He glances towards her once during the flight, and she looks back at him. She holds his gaze. This one look is enough to say all that is needed to be said. She is going to run. He is going to help her.

LAX is busy, as usual. She is the last one to get off the plane. Security measures will not have her strolling off casually. He waits for her, though. He goes through some paperwork and is given orders how to claim his father's coffin. He waits. He watches his friends, most now strangers, make their way through the exits. He sees Hurley's mom welcome her son with her trademark hug and smile. His father awkwardly stands behind, until Hurley pulls him into the family group hug. He watches Sayid slip out quickly and into a cab. He notices Michael and Walt argue as they walk right next to him, oblivious to his presence.

He sees Claire, a very pregnant and frightened Claire, go through her pocket for change, as she steps into the line of public phones and dials a number off of a crumpled old paper. He notices her frustration as no one picks up, and senses her fear multiply. He knows he will have to do something. But not now.

Kate waits impatiently as Mars coordinates with airport security. She hears the words "extremely dangerous" for what must be the hundredth time, and she swears under her breathe.

It feels like hours before she is off the plane. She has to wait another thirty minutes as another set of administrative procedures have to be completed. She sees Sun and Jin standing at a distance, talking quietly, and for the first time in a long while, she is terrified. Sun gives her a small nod and Jin smiles sympathetically.

She nudges Mars and says she has to use the ladies' room. He grumbles under his breath something about already going on the plane, but still he motions to one of the female security personnel to take her. The security guard shoves her into the stall and warns her about the one minute rule.

"Are you gonna watch me? I have a shy bladder," Kate retorts as the other woman continues to stand.

She scoffs and shuts the door, "you're down to 45 seconds."

Kate swallows the lump in her throat and waits before she says "do you have...ummm... lady products?"

"You've got to be kidding me!" the guard cuffs Kate to a pipe before she walks out hurridly.

Sun sneaks out of the stall next to Kate and hands her a tweezer, "that's all I have, sorry."

"It's ok, it'll work... Sun... thank you so much," Kate says working on on the cuffs.

"Jack's waiting for you outside. He says you know where..." Sun says and looks to Kate who silently confirms that she does, "good luck, Kate," Sun whispers and quickly makes an exit making sure no one can see her.

The window is high and small, but Kate has been through worse. She reminds herself of the duct in the hatch and thinks at least no one is shooting at her this time, not yet.

She makes it to where Jack is waiting without anyone noticing her. Jack is standing there nervously with his hands in his pockets, he doesn't see her as she almost runs into him. He holds onto her elbows to steady her and her hands are on his chest as she catches her breath, and she realizes his heart is beating as fast as hers.

"Please tell me you two weren't thinking this escape plan of yours is gonna work?" a voice speaks roughly from behind them.

His voice is startling, yet oddly comforting.

"Sawyer...what're you doing here?" Jack asks the man walking up behind him.

"I'm helping you both not get arrested. You're too pretty for jail, doc," Sawyer replies, his voice somewhere between anger and genuine concern, "do you even have a real plan? Or were you hoping to just drive off into the sunset and disappear in Obviousville, Mexico?"

Kate swallows hard and looks to Jack. They really hadn't thought about the whole plan.

"ok, here's what we do..."

Part Two: The Con

The plan was simple. Kate was to steal a car and make sure she gets caught on one of the security cameras. She was then to drive around a couple of blocks and into an abandoned building where Jack and Sawyer were waiting.

"What are you going to do now, Sawyer?" Jack asked as they sat awkwardly in the dark underground parking waiting for Kate.

"You really wanna do small talk now?" Sawyer replied, and Jack nodded apologetically.

A few minutes passed by before Sawyer spoke again, " I was thinking I'd go on a road trip across the country, maybe meet my daughter somewhere along the way... I thought I'd try Florida for a while. Heard there's a great security company in Miami," Sawyer said, his voice slightly cracking by the end.

"Sawyer...I'm really sorry,"

They sat in silence for another ten minutes before Kate came into the parking.

"Was everything ok?" Jack asked her, jumpping out of his car.

"Yes, did you get everything?" Kate asked him and he led her to the trunk.

Both cars were out of the building five minutes later and drove in opposite directions.

The car Kate stole was found at around midnight. It was found abandoned off the main road a few miles away from the Mexican border. The police report said they also found the clothes the fugitive was wearing in the trunk. They also found a used bottle of blonde hair dye and an empty box of blue contact lenses. They also found a handful of cut wavy brown hair.

Jack and Kate watched the report in his apartment. They sat in his living room. They watched the news nervously as the chief of police explained how they were now looking for a blue eyed woman, with short blond hair heading towards Mexico.

Kate laughed, depsite the situation, "how on earth did Sawyer get the hair?"

"Don't ask," Jack chuckled.

His mother had called him as they were driving back to his apartment. She berated him for being late, for not calling and of course reminded him that his father's death was his fault. He had given her a half hearted excuse about being delayed with paper work at the airport and promised to be there first thing in the morning. He was not sure she believed him. he was not sure it mattered either way.

They sat on his couch for another hour or so. Not really talking, or doing much else. Kate sat with her head on his chest and her arm across his stomach, as Jack entwined his fingers with hers and his other fingers played absentmindedly with her hair.

Neither wanted to do anything because they didn't want to do anything for the last time. Neither said anything because they knew they eventually and inevitably had to say good bye and neither was ready for that.

Part Three: The Goodbye

He broke the silence first. He brought his thumb soft to her cheek and pushed her off him to look at her face. He took her face in both of his hands.

"I love you,"

His lips were on hers before she could tell him she loved him too. Softly at first, but the kiss grew more urgent, more passionate, more desperate. If he wasn't going to let her say the words back, she was going to show him how much she loved him. She pulled him on top of her as she brought them to lie down. Moans were mixing with tears as they both knew this was their first time in this life time, and for all they know, their last. She thought about the last time she was in his apartment, and how their love making was mixed with anger and desperation, and how different yet similar it felt this time.

He finally released her lips from their breathtaking captivity, to move his down her body as his fingers had found their job of undressing her. She did not hesitate to bring her lips to his ear, she nibbled on his earlobe and whispered,

"I love you too,"

He was left in just his underwear as he lifted off the couch and carried her into the bedroom, "I know."

They woke up a few hours later, their tired sweaty body tangled with the sheets on his bed. He kissed her slowly and got up. "Stay. Don't leave before I come back," he pleaded.

It was his father's funeral today. She wished she could be with him. She also wished she could leave when he was away. That would make it so much easier. But she knew he would need her when he came back, and she knew she would stay.

The funeral was harder without her there. His mother was not as easy to handle this time around. His father's colleagues all seemed to blame Jack. So did all the his parents' country club friends. For a minute, Jack wished the plane had never landed back in LA.

He was not sure she would stay until he came back. If he were to be honest with himself, he knew if she left while he was gone, it would be easier than saying good bye to her.

But she did stay. She tried to watch the news for a while, but that was pointless. She dialled Hurley's number three times, but never stayed on the phone long enough to wait for an answer. She tried Sun's cell phone, but she got someone with no knowledge of the English language somewhere in Korea. She reminded herself to let Jack know about that phone call.

Jack walked in with pizza at around seven. He set it down on the kitchen table and went back to her in the living room.

"I got pizza,"

"You shouldn't have,"

He looked at her quizzically and sat down on the coffee table across from her.

She took his hands in hers, "please, Jack, let's not try to pretend that it's normal. It just makes it harder," she choked, the tears streaming freely down her face. Her puffy eyes told him she'd spent the day crying.

He kissed the back of her hands. And felt his own tears beginning to fall.

She put her hands on his face and caressed his stubbled face gently, "promise me one thing," she whispered.

He nodded, as she came down from the couch to kneel between his legs, her fingers now running through his short cropped hair, reminding her how much she missed his hair being longer. His hand was softly running along her arm, and she spoke softly and confidently, "promise me you'll make sure Claire makes the right decision about Aaron."

She kissed him quickly, swallowing her sobs, and he pulled her to him to make sure she does not stop their last kiss to early.

It was longer than what she'd planned, but it was over sooner than either of them wished it would be. And before he knew it, she was on her feet and at the door. With one last glance, but not another word she walked out.

And he'd lost her again.

With the spoilers starting to flow in

2009-09-23T07:54:01Z

With spoilers starting to come in for Lost, I just want to know where everyone stands on the issue because I would hate to accidentally say/post/react somewhere and ruin something for someone. It'll be annoying, embarrassing and dramatic unnecessarily. So would you please take a minute to fill this? thanks :D

View Poll: The State of Spoilers to Come

Sorry it's long, but I know it can be a sensitive issue for some, and since I pretty much read almost everything I wanna know where to draw the line. Of course though, there will be no spoilers in post titles or any spoilers not behind a cut or any reaction in the mood. Don't worry about that ;)

Lost icons

2009-07-28T14:12:19Z

[40] Icons
01-20 Pilot Part 1
21-40 Through the Looking Glass

Teasers

01-04

05-08

09-12

13-16

17-20

21-24

25-28

29-32

33-36

37-40

credit and comment are nice.
Please don't alter or hotlink.

:)

Jack/Kate fic

2009-07-12T16:32:42Z

Title: Sunrise

Characters: Jack/Kate

Rating: PG 13

Summary: Kate gets up early, Jack wants to sleep in. Just a short fluffy drabble, set post s5.

Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me

Jack grumbled disapprovingly as he felt the warm morning sun hit his face.

“Get up sleepy head,” Kate chuckled, drawing the curtains open.

Jack tried covering his face with his arms, “it’s early, I don’t have surgery this morning.” Kate laughed lightly and walked over to the side of the bed, she playfully nudged his leg with her knee, “sorry to break it to you buddy, but you haven’t been a practicing surgeon in while.”

Jack blinked his drowsy eyes open and took in the reality of where they were. Their little wood cabin on the beach was now what they called home. The last flash they experienced threw them into some distant time in the past and then it all stopped.

Jack looked up at Kate. She was standing next to their bed wearing a white tank-top and a pair of underwear. The morning sun rays silhouetting her body, the cool breeze tangling in her unruly hair, the sight was intoxicating. There was something magical about how the light wrapped around her and danced off her perfect skin. Jack wished he could freeze this moment forever and find new ways to be awed each minute.

Kate moved to grab her pants but was stopped by Jack lightly grabbing her hand, “come back to bed,” he pleaded softly. “I have to go pick fruits,” she replied, playfully trying to swat his hand away.

“the mangoes aren’t going anywhere, Kate,” he said back, sitting up slightly and tugging her back towards him.

Kate gave in to him and climbed into bed next to him. She gasped as Jack pulled her onto his lap. He ran his hands up and down her arms, enjoying the feel of her soft warm skin, the daylight bathing her gently.

“Morning,” he whispered, kissing her tenderly. He sat straight keeping her in his lap. He grabbed the sides of her tank-top and lifted it halfway below her chest. His hand rested on her growing baby bump, and they sat there for what seemed like hours, his hand caressing her pregnant belly, her hands around his neck, lightly dancing against his skin, his eyes transfixed on where their child was growing.

Jack bent down and kissed the spot where he felt their child’s heart beating, “good morning, baby,” he whispered against her skin, the moment so intimate, Kate felt a tear rolling down her cheek.

high temperature induced state

2009-06-25T10:34:41Z

ok, here's the deal. It's 35°C outside, and we do not have air conditioning. Long story. Anyhoo, the following is a result of said situation. Written out of the spur of the moment. Yes, I can hear you all complaining, when is she going to stop with these. Well, the high temps are now screwing with my already messed up head.

-------------------------------------------

"what the hell?!?!" was Jack's first reaction as he walked into the sweltering heat of their home. His jacket was instantly wripped off his shoulders and thrown to the ground and he was pulling painfully at his tie, in fear that if it stayed there a minute longer he might suffocate to death.

"yup, hell is exactly the right word to use," Kate retorted walking out of the kitchen. Her hair was a mess, bundled carelessly off her neck and shoulders. She was wearing a pair of very short shorts and a bikini top.

"you know, turning on the AC on the hottest day of the year is not such a bad idea Kate," Jack said, stripping down to stand in the middle of the living in just his pants. The weather forecast that morning had warned of the heat wave reaching it's peak, and the number of patients in the ER that day who came in with heatstrokes was record breaking.

"very funny, Jack," Kate replied, wiping hte sweat off her brow, " our lovely neighbors were doing some work and accidently hit half the electric lines in the street. We've been like this for four hours. It should be fixed soon, or so they said... three hours ago."

"you're kidding me," Jack said. Having discarded of most of his clothing, standing in his boxer shorts now, he walked over to her, unable to not grin at how sexy she looked standing there. "I'm sticky," she joked as he brought his lips down to hers, the kiss ending up with him chuckling against her lips. "I like it when you're sticky," he said, and pecked her lips.

"So why aren't you somewhere else? You know, somewhere that does not have the same zip code as hell," he joked, picking up his mess of clothes.

"Come and see for yourself," she said as she headed towards the backyard, swaying her hips teasingly as she knew he could not stop staring. He followed her out and could not help but laugh.

The sprinklers were all on and Aaron was running around soaking wet in his Superman swimming trunks. A couple of water guns lying around.

"yay! Jack is here!" Aaron squeeled running towards him, "mommy made rain in summer, Jack."

"yeah, I can see that, kiddo," Jack replied. And watched the kid run back into the fake rain.

"I'm kinda worried if he asks next to make the sun shine when it's raining," Kate joked.

"You don't have to worry about that, Kate," Jack replied, looking at her sincerely now. Kate's eyes met his questioningly, and he explained "you do that everyday for me."

Birthday Fic

2009-06-19T22:32:31Z

Title: Surrender
Characters: Jack/Kate
Rating: R-ish (I think)
Summary: They’re both addicts.
Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me

Note: this is for carrielynne2323 ‘s birthday. Hope you like it bb.
Note2: This all started with Alanis Morisette’s “21 things I want in a lover”, don’t ask why or how.
Note3: I had so much trouble finishing this thing. So I just did.
Note4: Last one, LOL. this keeps switching between Jack and Kate's pov's. hopefully not too confusing.

There’s never a middle ground when it comes to Jack and Kate. They never do things in healthy dozes. They play rough, they laugh hard, they sing loudly. They always let their passions turn into addictions. They give in to them. They let themselves become vulnerable to their addiction until they are consumed by them. When Jack and Kate love, they soar. When they fall, they crash.

There is a thin line between passion an addiction, they have come to learn that, painfully. And when exactly their passions became addictions they cannot truly remember.

..........................................................

It was your second night on the Searcher, a little past midnight, and everyone had gone to bed. Hurley had offered to watch Aaron and you were lying on the bed unable to fall asleep. Your thoughts were travelling at a hundred miles an hour not allowing you a minute’s rest.

He knocked lightly on your door bringing you out of your reverie. You let him in and without a word his lips are on yours. Not soft and gentle. Passionate. Forceful. Sucking and biting at your upper lip, mercilessly, demanding access.

With the same intensity you had seen in him many times on the island as a leader, as a doctor, it was encompassing you now in lust. Unleashed passion. And you wanted it to devour you.

So you gave him access. His tongue wasted no time in exploring every warm corner of your mouth. His arm wrapped around your waste and pulled you against him. His body warm. Hot, and strong, pushed you inside and the door was kicked shut. The next thing you knew your body was pressed between his and the cold wall. Your hands found his hair. Soft and short and a little wet from the shower he took earlier, and his fingers worked on the buttons of your shirt. And his lips still mercilessly on yours. You moaned. His lips moved to find your breast and you moaned. The first sound uttered since the knock on your door and it snapped him back. His dark eyes look into yours, and you could only say,

Jack...please...

..........................................................

It had been two weeks since the plane landed in LAX, bringing you home. You were amazed at how nothing had changed. You still had your old job. Your old office was still intact and yours. Your apartment was the same way you left it, down to the pile of laundry you thought could wait a couple of days until you returned from Sydney. I knew you were coming back, you mom said. Your car was still parked in its space. It all was too unchanged, too familiar. But none of it was normal. None of it was home.

Normal was her. Only her. Her smell that intoxicated you. Her touch that burned you. Normal was having her body trapped under yours. Trembling. Her nails drawing blood from your shoulders. Her breath hot in your ear. Her voice gasping your name. You made her scream. She made you breathless, dizzy with lust, need and want. And that was what became normal.

You were up before her. Early surgery and you did not want to wake her up. You were busy staring at the paper, your mind a million miles away, leaning against the counter when you felt her bare leg brush against yours. Morning, she whispered casually, and took a peek at the paper. She rolled her eyes at another article about the miraculous survival of the Oceanic 6. You asked her if she wanted coffee, but she did not reply. You moved the paper aside to see her facing you, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. I’d rather have something else for breakfast, she teased, dropping down, taking your boxer shorts with her. And all you could do was grasp at the cold marble counter top.

..........................................................

Do you want to run? He said that too casually and it caught you off guard.

You were lying on your new bed. In you new house. You had spent the last two days christening every surface and room of it. He had taken the day off to make sure you had made love in every closet and corner.

You were lying exhausted, you body humming, and he was on top of you, languidly kissing your jaw, down your neck and along your collar bone. Your fingers were tracing an invisible pattern on his back, memorizing every muscle.

His question scared you. You wondered if he was having doubts, of if he was having flashbacks to that day in the jungle. He realized the implications of his question and the reason you were suddenly still.

He chuckled against your neck and it sent a tickling vibration through your body. I mean work out together, exercise, he explained and you felt you could breathe again. Yeah, sure, you murmured.

You ran together every day after that. You ran in the gym, but that was too fake, too suffocating. You tried the tour de stade, you ran track together. Your favourite was running on the beach. The sand made it harder to keep your pace. The sun was hotter and ruthless. Running became an obsession for both of you together. Running from something, together.

But then he ran away. Alone. After his father’s wake. But that only made you run more. You added another mile each day. You ran until your feet bled, until your muscles tore and until every bone in your body was screaming with pain. But that was the only way you would have it. He was not there anymore and nothing made you feel alive. Nothing except the equal intensity you got from feeling the unbearable pain cut through you and letting it consume you. Because that was the kind of obsession that made you feel alive again.

..........................................................

It was only three days after her trial when you found yourself parking next to her house and walking up the porch step.

Ok, was all you said and then she was pulling you in by the collar of your shirt. That was all the control you gave her that night, though. You needed this tonight. The need for her had been eating at you since you saw her in the parking lot. Her smell intoxicated you, and suddenly memories came crashing on top of rendering you helpless and reminding your every sense that you needed her to survive. It had been too long but it all came back to you in flash. You remembered every spot, every curve. You remembered how and where she liked to be touched. She needed you to touch. Her breathing short and fast. And you touched her there. You kissed her there. Your fingers found their way blindly. Both your senses were alive again, too alive.

You were drunk with it. And you could breathe again.

..........................................................

The living room still smelled of alcohol. But you had been trained since you were twelve to not let it make you sick. You learned that the morning you threw up in the living room after one of Wayne’s wild nights. You threw up and your mother smacked you. You threw up again and Wayne took out his belt. No, the smell of alcohol did not bother you.

The problem was that the living room smelled of alcohol and of him. Of Jack. And that made you sick.

And his smell never left the room. And you did not want it too. You did not give him back his things. He never asked for them. You slept in his shirt every night until it lost his smell. When that happened you threw it away and wore another one. You kept on wearing his shirts one after the other until none of them smelled like him anymore. And that was when it became impossible to find any sleep. Not even on his side of the bed.

That was why you agreed to meet up with him. The heartache and the pain of seeing him like that. Of seeing him and not being able to wrap your arms around him, of standing so close to him and not being able to pull him down to you and kiss him, to run your fingers through his hair, to feel his hands on your face, around your waist, under your shirt... all that was worth it if only you could smell him again. His smell alone could give you that fix of him that you needed, until you met up with him at the airport again.

He might have moved on to alcohol and drugs, but he is still your only addiction, and nothing else can keep you alive.

..........................................................

You constantly tried to rationalize your drug and alcohol abuse. You were seeing ghosts. You were over stressed at work. Locke was back in your life and back on your nerves. But you knew the only reason you were doing drugs and drinking was because you lost her. And you often wished you never had her because the agony in knowing what you could not have anymore was worse than never knowing what you could have had. So you drank. And you took pills. And you hoped, you prayed that they would numb you enough to forget what it was like to have her under your skin, to have her running in your veins. You begged the pills to have an effect and erase all your sensations so that your fingers would forget the feeling of her soft skin, so that your skin would stop craving hers, so that you did not compare every smell to her, and they all came short. You wanted to shut off all your systems because she was gone and nothing was worth touching, or smelling, or hearing or feeling or tasting anymore.

You drowned yourself in pain and self pity, but it all failed because she still ran in your blood. The taste of her lips was still on yours, her warm breath was still in your ear, her legs were still wrapped around your body. But she was not there. And the only way to stop the incessant need, the ravenous hunger was to end all sensation. But your new addiction was too mediocre compared to her.

You weren’t addicted to the pills or to the alcohol. You are addicted to her.

End.

Sing your pain

2009-06-17T18:52:21Z

Just a little batch of icons I’ve made recently.

[3] Matthew Fox/Evangeline Lilly EW photoshoot
[46] Lost (various episodes/seasons)

Teasers

01 02 03

04 05 06

07 08 09

10 11 12

13 14 15

16 17 18

19 20 21

22 23 24

25 26 27
28 29 30

31 32 33

34 35 36

37 38 39

40 41 42

43 44 45

46 47 48

Lost-toons

2009-06-08T11:10:26Z

more sketches of Lost characters. this time the theme is "Lost Couples".

The Kwons

The Pace/Littletons

The LaFleurs

The Shephards

The Sociopathically Deranged

The Plain Crazy

:D

le sigh....

2009-06-03T20:12:57Z

Jate Season 5 E-Picspam
(*snicker*... I am such a geek)

What if it makes you sad at me

And what if it makes you laugh now

but you cry as you fall asleep

And what if it takes your breath

and you can't hardly breathe

And what if it makes the last sound be the very best sound

What if what I want makes you sad at me

And is it all my fault or can I fix it please

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

What if it makes you lose faith in me,

what if it makes you question every moment you cannot see

And what if it makes you crash and you can't find the key

What if it makes you ask how you could let it all go

What if what I want makes you sad at me

And is it all my fault or can I fix it please

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

And if this be our last conversation

If this be the last time that we speak for a while

Don't lose hope and don't let go

Cause you should know that I'm always all for you

If it makes you sad

If it makes you sad at me

Then it's all my fault and let me fix it please

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

What if what I want makes you sad at me

And if it's all my fault then let me fix it please

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Lyrics to Safetysuit's What If

Hope you enjoyed this!
♥

electionzzzzzzzzzz.............

2009-06-03T08:18:16Z

So, to make this short, I am against how the elections work in this country (sectarian system based) and against almost every single person running this year (elections are Sunday). So last night, with a couple of friends, we made this:

www.mish-kharouf.com

(it means I am not a sheep)

the cut out says: I won't vote because I am not a sheep.
And click on the little sheep dude on the bottom left to read our "manifesto".

JK fic

2009-05-30T21:56:38Z

Title: The Hardest Part
Pairing: Jack/Kate
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: All seasons
Summary: She’s always had his back, but this time he knows he could be asking a little too much.
Notes: Companion piece to “Strength in Your Tears”

“But nothing... nothing in my life has ever felt so right. And I just need you to believe that,”

I don’t like the new you. I liked the old you who wouldn’t just sit around waiting for things to happen.

“It’s about to happen,”

Just because we’re on the same plane doesn’t mean we’re together.

“Are you with me on this?”

So, do you believe it? That’s everything’s going to be ok?

You hate that you are doing this to her. Asking her the impossible. Asking her to have your back and share the burden. You look into her eyes and know that this could be the request the she will not be able to handle. You know that you are asking too much and you brace yourself to hear her say no. You deserve her rejection after you all you have put her through. You are asking her, after all, to go back to being a wanted criminal, in hand cuffs, being escorted to an almost definite life behind bars. You know she will say no, and despite your attempt at a courageous smile you are preparing for her rejection. For your last request to break her completely.

All the misery that we’ve been through, it would just wipe it clean. Never happened.

You have probably not given this enough thought, or at least not as much as you should have. But you have come to terms with what it will mean to you to reset the future – your past. You will be on the plane on your way to bury your father, who died because of you – disappointed in you – with a sad excuse for a eulogy half crumpled in your pocket. Your mother will most probably disown you and never talk to you again. You will go back to your lonely apartment, to a stack of papers from your lawyer that you have to sign to finalize your divorce. You will never meet the people you have come to call your friends. You will never know and meet your sister. Or her son. The little boy who laughed heartily sitting on your shoulders in the park and who more that once would call you Daddy. The little boy who would wait up for you on days you worked late, just for you to read to him and tuck him in. You will never know the joy of being a father, of having the perfect family, of having her. Kate.

It was not all misery.

You will never feel her shaky hands, soft skin against yours, as she sews your back. You will never see her smile – that smile that could make you forget the fact that you had crashed on a godforsaken island – and for a moment you do not care about the smoke monster or the others or any of the other 42 people depending on you. You will never enjoy having her arms wrap around your neck or the feeling of her body as you pull it against yours with your one good arm, her face in your neck, her breath warm against your skin. You will never feel her fingers caress your stubbled cheeks, her hot tongue teasing yours, or her forehead against yours. You will never get to taste her lips for the first time, her sweet lips mixed with her salty tears. You will never hear her laugh so close to your ear, her body pressed dangerously against yours, as you hang in a net somewhere in the middle of jungle. You will never feel her hands snake around your waist and grab the gun in your pants or the way her body feels lying on top of your, her nose nudging your. You will never know the sweet taste of your own words as you tell her you love her. You will never experience that first time you give in to that consuming desire, that beautiful moment you became one. You will never feel her skin burning with want under your fingers, or hear her gasp when your lips work their down her stomach. The feeling of her nails digging into your shoulder, her heals on your back pushing you further and her eyes boring into yours as you come together. And you will never see the tears in her eyes when you show her the ring, and you will never hear her say those words – "Of course I will. Yes".

Enough of it was.

But what matters most, is that you will not tear that apart for her either. You will not promise her love and replace it with mistrust. You will not promise her happiness and replace it drugs and alcohol. You will not promise her to be a family and bring that shattering down to the ground and walk out on her. That will never happen to her. You will never make her deliver a child in the middle of the jungle. You will never watch her see her friends being buried, one after the other. She will never have to look to you for strength as a bag is thrown over her head, or plead with you to save her friend to watch turn your back to her. She will never have to try to help you and be handcuffed or gassed. She will never have to leave her friends behind and live a lie. She will never have the gift of motherhood and then lose the one thing that made her complete. You will never take that away from her. You still cannot sleep at night because you still hear her devastated sobs pleading with you to trust her. A little boy’s sleepy, frightened call to his mother remains a deafening whisper, a poison that flows in you. A whisper, you have painfully learned, no amount of alcohol or pills can silence.

“Yes,”

And you squeeze her hand.

“Let’s do this then”

If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.

And you truly believe that if it’s your fate, then it will happen, you will find your way together again. And you cannot help but laugh at the irony of it all. If only John Locke were here today. What he would think of your new found faith.

I don’t believe in destiny.
Yes, you do. You just don’t know it yet.

You do now. And you believe that you will find her again. And if you don’t then you will never know what you have missed out on, and you would have saved her from all that misery. And you pray that somehow, somewhere, she can understand why you have to do this, that you need to this, for her.

end.

so? how bad?

JK Fanfic

2009-05-25T16:29:19Z

Well, it has been a while, so let me know what you think :)

Title: Strength In Your Tears
Pairing: Jack/Kate
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: All the way to s5 finale
Summary: He asks her if she is with him, and she knows the answer before he finishes the question

"but nothing... nothing in my life has ever felt so right. And I just need you to believe that."

Well, I wish I shared your faith.

"it's about to happen,"

I was thinking that I might go with you -- for old time's sake? I want to help.

"Are you with me on this?"

I have always been with you.

No matter how many times he asks you this, and no matter how many different ways he words his question, your answer will always be one and the same. But he wants to hear it. He needs to hear it again. From you. That one word somehow manages to lift the weight of the world off of his shoulder every time. But this time the words can't escape your lips as easily as any of the times before. Not because you are hesitating with what to answer. You will follow him to the ends of the world if he asks you to as long as you are with him. No, what he is asking this time is harder because after you say yes you might never be with him again.

I can't leave without you.

You swallow. But the lump in your throat refuses to let go. He is asking you to erase the past three years of your life. To erase ever knowing him. Ever loving him. He makes things rational and mentions Aaron. Your son. He mentions Claire. Your son's mother. You hate that he goes there but you know he is right. But once again he fails to see that your initial hesitation was not about Aaron. You feel guilt run through you as you admit to yourself that you had not thought about Aaron when Jack first told you his plan. No. You thought about yourself. About what it means that Oceanic 815 lands safely. You'd be in handcuffs and on your way to prison. But it was not even that detail that shattered you and was slowly eating at you.

It was not all misery.

And you truly believe it. Those few months when you were finally one are all you care about. Crashing on island, losing your closest friends, being kidnapped, tortured, shot at, everything that happened paled in importance, all the misery was erased by the memory of his fingers tracing lightly over your skin. You did not want to lose that. The feeling of his warm breath against your skin, of his body moving in rhythm with yours. Those memories are what he is asking you to erase. The way his fingers played with your curls as you lay naked against him every morning, the way his strong back tensed under your fingernails as you came together, his weight on top you as you lay consumed, breathing heavily, and his ragged voice against your ear "I love you".

Enough of it was.

But you understand what he means. You can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. His eyes looking in you, searching your soul for an answer, and you understand his fear. You understand what the three years did to him, how they broke him down and left him a shadow of who he truly is. You know what it meant for him being cast as the leader on the first day of your crash. Each day after the crash was a struggle. A struggle against the island, against the problems and chaos of the island. A struggle to keep everyone alive. A struggle to stay alive. Each day he had to dig deeper into his demons to try to come up on top. You remember his face the night the Marshall died. You remember the way his breath caught in his throat when Claire went missing. You still feel his cold skin under your fingertips when he collapsed during Boone's funeral. You still hear his silent sobs from behind the closed door the night Ana and Libby were killed. You remember his sad smile when Juliet lifted the bag off your head on the wrong side of the glass divide, his strong heartbroken voice screaming for you to run – to take Sawyer and run - and you still tear up when you remember the clicking sound as he turned off the walkie talkie. You remember the sound of his footsteps on deck late at night after everyone one the Searcher had gone to sleep. He’d pace there for hours, trying to come to terms with leaving your friends behind, with having to lie to the whole world about what happened to them. You remember the morning before his father's wake and how he insisted on helping you bathe Aaron – it’s therapeutic he said, and years later you came to understand what it means. You also remember him packing a bag after the wake and leaving, without another glance towards Aaron, his eyes apologetic but also clouded with fear and guilt. You remember the smell of alcohol in the living room when you could not bring yourself to tell him about the promise. The stupid little promise. And how suddenly that ring on your finger was too heavy, it’s sudden weight bringing you crashing to your knees. You know that you have broken him countless times. You've broken his heart more than once and watched him mend yours with pieces of his own.

“Yes.”

You know he needs this. You need to give him this. To save him. To erase all that misery for him. To stop him from ever having to live through that. And you forget what it could to you because you have to do this. You have to do it this time, for him.

[46] Lost Icons/ Stock Icons

2009-05-22T13:34:29Z

ok, here is my humble, very very humble, attempt at making not so very great icons. But I did make them (and ignored work for two days) so I might as well post them, no?

oh, and happy birthday LJ! I hate you sometimes, but all my favorite people live here! *muah*

[33] Lost Icons (Jack/Kate - The Incident)
[13] Stock Icons

Teasers

Lost
01 02 03

04 05 06

07 08 09

10 11 12

13 14 15

16 17 18

19 20 21

22 23 24

25 26 27

28 29 30

31 32 33

Stock
34 35 36

37 38 39

40 41 42

43 44 45

46

ya know the drill... crediting is nice, comments are nicer, hotlinking ain't so hot :)

Paris Trip!

2009-05-10T10:01:16Z

yes, finally I know :p

Image heavy…

i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

2009-04-29T21:20:24Z

*waves*

hey everyone! I'm back from Paris. Got back a couple of hours ago. Long picture-y post later (with videos :p) tomorrow or later or something...

but first, I met Franci!!! &hearts; &hearts;

and, Franci met and gave Evi a copy of the comic we made!!!

and, the Lost thing was so much fun!! except that it was 90% in french :p

aaaaaaaaaaaand... I MET DAMON!!!!! OMG!! ok, for those who do not know, I have a mad nerdy crush on Damon. So I was all GUUUUUUUH!! and I gave him a copy of the comic :D :D

more details later. too dead now.

oh, btw, this is a prefinal version of the comic:

Lost sketches

2009-04-03T07:16:48Z

I get bored. I sketch. I make fun of the Losties. Ok, I make fun of Locke and Sawyer. For some reason I can never draw any of the female Losties. Although I usually can sketch other females with no trouble.

Sayid doesn’t look all that great. We’ll start with him

Next is Jin. Nothing special about this one either

Then it’s Hurley

Jack I have a hundred versions of. Here are a couple(other the one in my header)

Then there’s the Lockster

Then there’s Jack and Locke (Jack’s arms look dislocated in this one :p)

and finally, my favorite, flower boy!.

Favorite JK scenes part 2

2009-03-29T13:38:07Z

Ok, here’s part 2 for s3 and s4. Part 1 is here: http://yas-m5.livejournal.com/133215.html

season 3

#5 Looks on the beach
I love how we laugh at the same things
We both have dorky smiles & get caught staring at each other; and then look away fast to pretend nothing happened. Like you haven't been on my mind all this time .

#4 Airport FF
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

#3 (tied)Walkie talkie scene from NIP
Whenever I cried he would always make me feel like he would change the world if he could so it couldn't hurt me anymore. But now I’m crying and he's not here.

#3 (tied)Glass wall scene
when you look in his eyes and he's looking back at yours, everything feels not quite normal because you feel stronger and weaker at the same time. the truth is you don't know what you feel except you know what kind of person you want to be. it's as if you reached the unreachable and you were ready for it

#2 Pool room
I'm scared as hell to want you, but here I am, wanting you anyway. And fear means I have something to lose, right? And I don't want to lose you. So this is it, this is love. Giving you the power to break me, but trusting you not to.

#1 Because I love you
When you smiled you had my undivided attention. When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever.

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season 4 (I struggled to pick a minimum from SNBH)

#5 Flirting by the chopper
During the day at random times thoughts of you, they fill my mind. And I picture that smile you gave me, and I swear for that one second I could barely breathe.

#4 Are you ok?/I am now.
What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

#3 Court room
As I stand here looking at you, I wonder if there will ever be a day when I will get over your smile. When I will let go of the hugs you gave me that I continue to feel. A day when I forget the words you said to me, but I know whatever happens to us, I know I could never get over, let go, or forget about you.

#2 Proposal
Never in a million years did I think I'd find someone so utterly & completely perfect, someone who would make me happier than I ever dreamed I could be, someone that would touch my life so profoundly & just give me a whole new reason to breathe. But then I found you & realized that everything I anticipated you to be doesn't even compare to who you are.

#1 Surgery
When I first saw you, I was afraid to meet you.
When I first met you, I was afraid to kiss you.
When I first kissed you, I was afraid to love you.
But now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.

Favorite J/K moment...er..... s

2009-03-28T22:58:00Z

carrielynne2323 asked me what my favorite JK moment of all time is. Well, it's been two hours, and I have managed to narrow it down to favorite 5 JK scenes per season. Dude, it's hard as hell. And I'm really really being strict about taking scenes of my list. It's like asking me to pick a favorite chocolate, or I dunno, something else extremely hard. So I'll post my top 5 per season, in a pretty picspammish way and maybe you'll forgive me for not answering you q the way you wanted ;) (oh and totally raided your PB for this) :D
These are seasons 1 and 2 because it's 1.20am and I am too tired ;p

Season 1:

#5 You drugged me.

Why is it everyone looks at him & doesn't see how wonderful he is?
Cause I saw it the first time I laid eyes on him.
I don’t think I knew it then, but I guess I was falling in love.

#4 I didn’t do it for him

It's a new feeling. I'm used to having to fight for someone. But the fact that someone actually wants me for who I am, that feeling is just incredible. He isn't acting.

#3 Guava seeds

Because for me, it's always been you.
Always. And I've tried to fight it,
I've tried to deny it, but I can't.
You're undeniable.

#2 I’m sinking
I don't even have to try for perfect.
You already know all my secrets...
The things I keep hidden from everyone else.
So I am able to finally just be myself; which probably shouldn't be such a big deal.
But it was.

#1 First meeting
That night you took away a little more than just my breath.
you reached in and stole my very soul; in the best possible way.

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Season 2

#5 The look
Cause I know in my heart I would
never let you tumble to the ground
I'm just worried that
one day when were talking
it'll just slip out
that I'm in love with you.

#4 If you weren't here
Can't you see it? She loves you, more then you could imagine
Its in her eyes, Its in her voice, Its in her smile
She's so different when your around, so much happier
You're the one for her, but you don't see that do you

#3 Golf date
Admit it. We flirt with each other.
We have so much fun with each other.
We laugh with each other and we even try to be with each other.
And I believe we secretly love each other.

#2 Kiss
I still remember our first kiss. I remember that it was awkward and that it was soft. I remember being scared, and a little insecure. What I don’t remember is ever being SO certain of something in my entire life.

#1 I'm sorry I kissed/I'm not
I ran from you, and I know it.
I'm ashamed, and it's just you were the first man
that ever seemed to be interested in being around me.
It made me believe I couldn't be good enough in your eyes.

Love me when I least deserve it
Because that's when I'll really need it.

*phew* it’s 2am now. If you enjoy this, I’ll post s3 and s4 tomorrow :)

drabble

2009-03-23T16:35:37Z

yeah,I'm rather posty these days. Just a little drabble thought I got and preferred to write it than actually work :p

Untitled Drabble
Jack/Kate

He looked back at her as she squeezed his hand so hard leaving white circle on the back of his palm. Her face was contorted with pain and fatigue, sweat pouring down her temple and tears from her eyes. Her hair was disheveled, but he could swear she never looked more beautiful. He kissed her forehead and soothed her hair back as he whispered calming words in her ear.
The baby was three weeks early, but despite their initial nervousness, Juliet had assured them everything was fine, and smiled excited, as her own hand moved unconsciously to her growing baby bump.
Kate had swallowed hard, and counted to five under her breath, knowing that Jack was doing the same, then looked back and him and smiled "well Jack, what did you expect of a child that got half my flighty genes and half your alpha male genes?"
But now, three hours later, the baby seemed to have changed its mind. "I guess the baby also inherited both our stubborn genes," he whispered to her, kissing below her ear, and was relieved to see her smile back at him with a twinkle in her eyes.
Six hours later, he watched her with their son cradled in her arms, and was amazed that he found himself falling in love with her all over again, and falling harder than ever before.

oops!

2009-03-21T20:37:28Z

I made everyone sit in the dark for 5 minutes because I got the date wrong XD